Changing
by call-break-myheart
Summary: Tegan is very nervous about life-changing news she has to tell Sara. Sara has know for a while and has a surprise waiting. Might be a one shot, but if you like I'll do a few more chapters. Tegan and Sara, Quincest.
1. Big News

I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants as I sat anxiously waiting for Sara to arrive at the restaurant. Sara has been my sister for 26 years, my girlfriend for seven years. She has been my support for my entire life and I'm scared out of my skull for this dinner. Sara has said since day one of us being together that she will be by my side for anything, but I don't think this had ever crossed her mind. It first entered my mind many years ago but as the years went on its something I think about more and more. Ever since I could remember, I've always been a tomboy. Everyone who knows me knows that it's such a prominent part of me.

"Excuse me Sir, is this seat taken," I hear Sara whisper in my ear as she places her hand on my back. My eyes widen and my face flushed at her use of the word "sir".

"Oh, hey Sare. You scared me. Sit down, I ordered a bottle of your favorite wine."

"Aw you're so sweet to me Tee," She said smiling widely. "Or are you just trying to get me wined up for this news of yours?"

I laughed nervously and played with the little tail of overgrown hair above my neck. "Maybe a little bit. How was your day though?" Sara and I lived in the same building, "my" apartment was smaller than Sara's but really we lived together most of the time. We bought a penthouse together. We kept both so we could fool people when needed. Most of our friends knew, our mom figured it out a few years back, so far no one had reacted negatively to us. Over the past few months I've been spending slightly more time than usual at my place. It was sometimes stressful to hide what felt like my true self from Sara, I needed alone time to relax to keep Sara from noticing something is up.

Sara's eyes were warm, making me feel at home. "You're trying to change the subject but I'll allow it since this is the most nervous I've seen you in a while. My day was very good, dear. I went to the store to pick you up a present or two. And I went grocery shopping and went and bought some new clothes too."

Sara saying she got me a present caught me off guard. "A present, why would you do that?"

She laughed lightly, a sound that I could never grow tired of loving. "I'll tell you later."

Sara and I continued talking through our meal, our waiter took away our plates moments ago. We were on our second bottle of wine, both of us feeling noticeably lighter, the couple glasses of wine working well with our bodies. We talked about what direction we were going to take our new album, how well our touring of Heartthrob went, how our friends and family are, etc. The waiter returned with our check. Sara already had her money out before I even registered the bill on the table.

"I got the check, Teeg. Now, what's our plan? Are we staying here, going elsewhere or for a walk, going back home?"

Sara seemed eager for our talk, my nervousness grew as it got later, the clock ticking down on the night. It was only a matter of time before I had to tell Sara. I again wiped my hand on my pants, "Uhm, let's take a long walk home."

She smiled again as she stood up, her hand out for me to take. I stood, taking her hand in mine as she led me out of the restaurant. Sara was leading us, my mind was running rampant with scenarios of how the next ten minutes will go. I took in a deep breath, holding it in for a bit before letting it out into the summer air. I squeezed Sara's hand a little tighter, "So Sare,"

I finally picked up my head, Sara's eyes already on mine. Her smile was so pure and loving, I wanted to live in this moment for the rest of time. She stopped our walk and turned to me, " I love you so much Tegan Rain. Remember, we don't shy away no matter what." Her words comforted me, I relaxed into her hug, leaning in to kiss her softly.

"I love you Sare. I hope this doesn't change your feelings for me."

I began to turn back, continuing our walk. Sara's hand met my hip, stopping my turn. Her hand rested on my cheek, causing my skin to redden. Her smile had faded, a spark lit in her eyes. "Tegan, nothing will change this. Nothing can ruin you for me."

We turned to continue our walk. "I really don't know where to start. If this gets confusing, stop me."

"Go ahead babe, I'm all ears."

I started talking, I began by telling her about being a tomboy, being four or five and wanting to be a boy. Growing up feeling odd being in the body of a female. I was comfortable with my body, but I think it was only because I was in love with Sara's, her body identical to mine. I never fully felt like my body was mine. I avoided eye contact for the entire talk, I let go of Sara's hand a few minutes ago. Both relieving her from the sweatiness of my hand and freeing my hands so I could writhe them together myself. "So yeah, I've talked to my doctor and I'm ready to start taking T whenever I give the go- ahead. I'm sorry if I've been weird or anything lately, I just wasn't sure how to tell you any of this…" Sara had her hands in her pocket, her head turned away from me, looking at the buildings as we passed. "Sare? Please say something?"

Sara turned and chuckled a bit "Sorry Tee, the last part sounded like you had something else to say. Come with me, I have something for you." We walked the block and a half to our building. Sara has yet to say anything other than that he has something for me. Even though she sounded neutral, I was still very worried that she would have a bad reaction. I mean, she would have already reacted if she hated the idea right? "Tee," Sara asked as she took my hand in hers again. I kept my eyes trained on the ground. Sara sighed, tightening her grip on my hand as the elevator dinged, signaling our arrival to the door.

We walked inside, "Sit here, I'll be right back," Sara instructed. I sat for a moment, my mind running wild with the thought of Sara being disgusted by this thought. I stood up and began pacing. What if she wants me to leave, or wants nothing to do with me. I bit my lip as I wished away the tears gathering on the rim of my eye lids. Sara quietly walked back into the room, I hadn't noticed her presence until her arms were around my sides. "Open this."

I took the navy colored gift bag and turned to take a seat back on the sofa. Sara came to stand in front of me, though I still avoided her eyes I felt on my hands. There were two wrapped presents in the bag. I looked up at her, she had her hands behind her back as she nodded for me to open the presents. I chose the first I got out, carefully tearing the paper off. My fingers found a tan fabric folded up within itself, I looked up again with an inquisitive stare. She motioned for me to open it up, I did as she requested then looked back up with the same face as before. "You're not great at this," Sara said through her giggle. She took it in her hand and undid the Velcro that I was unaware of. She straddled my thighs and wrapped the ace bandage-like material around my chest. Oh. OH! "It's a binder you goof."

"Wha- Sara? A binder?" She laughed a little, taking the other present in her hand and ripping it open.

"Now I'm not sure if you want these or whatever but," She paused as she took out the pair of black boxer briefs. I was once again confused until she took my hand, placing it on the crotch of the briefs. There was a padded bulge within the material. My eyes went wide, forcing another laugh out of Sara. "I've kinda known for a while now Tee. I was just waiting for you to tell me."

"Sara! Why wouldn't you tell me you knew! You know what I've gone through trying to come up with the courage to tell you."

Sara brought my face to hers, kissing me through her chuckles. "Because I knew you weren't ready for me to know. So I kept quiet. I just kept imagining you as a guy, thinking how hot you'll be."

"You're okay with it? Seriously? But like, you're a lesbian."

"Yes I'm a lesbian, but I love you, very much I might add." Sara talked slowly as she took the binder back off my body. "And I will be happy as long as you're happy. Though, I must say, I'll definitely miss these," she teased as she circled her thumb around my nipples.

I moaned at the pressure she was using in her circling, "Ahh. Yeah, I'm really gonna miss this. I'll keep 'em for a while though."

Sara grinned down at me. "I would appreciate that. But now that you've told me, I'm definitely going to be showing them more love." Sara ground her ass down into my crotch. "Is there anything I do that makes you uncomfortable?"

I tossed my head back laughing. "She says as grinding into me." Sara's face dropped, her hips stopping the circling. "No, no. I just find you funny. Nothing you do makes me uncomfortable. But actually…" I thought, happy that her face had changed back to her turned on face, her grinding picking back up.

"As long as it's not this," she breathed through a moan. "Because this is my fucking favorite."

"No, its absolutely not this. This is too fucking good," I moaned and my hips lifted to push into her more. "I was just wondering, if maybe- I don't know- if you'd be comfortable with using gender neutral pronouns for me?"

Sara smiled widely. "Of course tee, anything you want dear. And if you don't mind me asking, have you found an identity you are comfortable with?"

"Uh yeah, I think bi-gender is pretty good but I'm kind of leaning towards demi-boy. Demi-boy is-"

"I know what it is. I've done a good bit of reading on the topics. I kinda pictured that being what you would identify with."

I smiled widely at Sara, "You really are completely okay with this, aren't you?"

Sara lifted herself off my lap, causing me to sigh when my body noticed the absence of grinding. "Yes babe, I am one thousand percent okay with this." Sara put her hand out, motioning for me to get up, I followed her into the bedroom. She guided us to the dresser, oh boy, Sara's going to do something cheesy with a strap on. "Turn around." I did as she said and waited for something to happen. I heard the drawer open and close, then nothing for a few second. I felt Sara turn, her mouth making my stomach do flips as she hit my favorite spots. She put her hand into the waistband of my pants. "Get rid of these."

I lingered for a second as I reveled in the feeling of her teeth brushing against my skin as her tongue followed. Then I undid the pants button and lowered them down my legs and bent to take them away from my ankles. I felt Sara's hands on the front of my hips as she pulled my ass into her core. I then felt a sharp pinch, then a warmth. "Ow, what the fuck was that?"

Laughter bounced off the walls of the room, I turned to find Sara holding a needle in her hand. "That, my love, was your first testosterone injection."

My eyes went wide as I rubbed the spot on my butt cheek. "What? How did you get ahold of that? I'm not supposed to start for another month or so."

"Well yes, but a few months ago I went to your doctor and we talked. I begged to let me do this because I wanted you to know just how okay with this I am. So he gave me the T and the other things you needed. And now here we are," she smiled at me so wide, her cheeks a light rose.

I grabbed the needle and placed it in the drawer as pulled her into my lips by the back of her neck. I picked up her with my hands under her thighs and placed her on the dresser. "You, Sara Quin," I spoke through kisses, my hands making their way up her shirt, "are the most amazing person in existence. I love you with all my heart."

My heart swelled, the person I love most in this world, my girlfriend and sister is completely alright with me transitioning. I knew Sara has always been open minded, but I never expected to this degree. To have her be so accepting to this that she actually spoke to my doctor and gave me my first shot of T, it lit my life up. I could never be happier than with her in my arms right now. Well, maybe when I'm legally a male with her in my arms.


	2. Month Three: Part One

Chapter 2

Month One: Part One

Sara POV:

"Tegan Quin," a nurse called, pulling my attention away from the magazine I was flipping through. The magazine gets put back on the table as Tegan and I stand to walk to her doctor's office. We walk in, taking seats across from Dr. Kimmelman's desk, she closes the door behind us then makes her way to her chair.

"Tegan Quin. It is so good to see you, you're looking quite different these days. How have you been feeling since I saw you last?"

"I'm feeling great, no complaints so far. And yes, this past month has really quickened the changes," Tegan says as I inspect their face, they do look pretty different. This is Tegan's three month checkup, the past month bringing on the most noticeable changes yet. Their jaw is a little wider, less chubby cheeks, and more muscle. I can tell they are happier and more confident, I never thought Tegan had any more personality to display but I was wrong. They haven't changed, but they've become more themselves. I feel like I'm watching Tegan grow in front of my eyes, and I feel like I'm growing with them too. I realized I zoned out while Tegan was talking and they noticed too, their smirk appearing as we made eye contact. "So to answer your question, yes I'm loving every change so far. And by the look on this one's face," they say looking over to me, "I think I'm not alone."

I smile widely at Tegan's confidence, "Yes, I'd agree that you're not alone." I turned my attention to the doctor, "Things have been going great. I only got their pronouns wrong once in this past month. Though in a few months when they switch to he, I'll have to adjust again. We've been working on preventing the depression that often comes with transitioning. Each morning and night we both name a thing that we like that has changed or something we're looking forward to seeing, that sort of thing."

"That's great to hear, though try to not allow the 'looking forward to' things outnumber the others. Part of the depression is from wanting to wake up one morning in a completely new body. But I'm very proud of how you have been doing Tegan, and I'm incredibly happy to know you have your twin there being as supportive as she has been," Dr. Kimmelman beamed at us.

Tegan's doctor spoke about how well their lab reports are, how everything is going as planned, my heart was fluttering from happiness. After the appointment we went home, Tegan was very excited to do their post- appointment pictures we've been taking. I went into the study to grab my camera case, I walked back into our room to take the progress photos.

Tegan walks out of the bathroom, her shirt and binder removed. She stood against the wall in only her boxer briefs. With my camera in hand, I hold it up and begin taking the photos of them. We take multiple photos, ensuring to get many photos of each side of their body. I take the camera down to take a look at the photos, I smile as I know how happy this set will make Tegan. They come up to me, taking my face within their hands, "thank you, thank you so much Sara," Tegan says as tears well up on the brim of their eyelid.

"Oh baby, no tears. I am so damn proud to be by your side to see you go through this change. Even in the past three months, I can tell how much happier you are. You make my heart so full. I will be by your side for this entire process and beyond," I tell her as I begin to tear up. I notice that Tegan's tears are happy tears, their smile grows wider with each syllable out of my mouth.

"I'm so happy that I'm the one that gets to be yours. Can we sit down and talk after I get a shirt on," they must see the worry in my eyes as I hear the words. "Nothing bad, I promise. Just some details I want our thoughts on."

My worry fades away as Tegan walks back into the bathroom to change. I head to the office to put my camera back in its place. In the kitchen, I prepare us coffee, knowing Tegan like coffee a lot more these days. Tegan walks into the kitchen, they wrap arms around my stomach and lightly kisses my neck. I hand them the coffee and we walk over to the couch. "So, what would you like my thoughts on?"

"Well I've been thinking about the surgeries and I wanna talk to you about what I've been thinking," Tegan says after taking a sip of the hot coffee. I motion for Tee to continue, "As far as top surgery goes, I'm thinking I'll wait a little bit for that. Probably aiming around the one year mark on T for that. I mean the longer you can feel me up the better, right?"

I return the smirk Tegan gives me from the statement. "I'm fine with whenever you chose to get that done, but I can't deny that, the more time I get to cherish your chest the better," I teased. "But seriously Tee, don't make that the reason you wait, you'll still have nipples for me to love."

Tegan laughed and nodded in agreement. "Now for bottom surgery, I'm not sure how much you know about that surgery, but right now it's not possible to have a fully functioning cock. So I think I'm going to hold off until that is possible." I nod, knowing that it probably isn't too far off in the future for that capability. "I don't want to have to pump anything to get an erection, nor not be able to enjoy an orgasm. I mean, I want to get a boner when I'm with you, ya know?"

I chuckle at their point, "I'd want the same. You know I support your choices no matter what, but I do want you to be able to have a fully functioning dick so you can enjoy when I'm riding you."

Tegan blushes and laughs at my blunt statement. They turn their attention to the tv, realizing there is nothing on the black screen. I grab the remote sitting in front of me on the coffee table, I flick through the guide, finding nothing that Tegan and I watch.

"OH! Rick and Morty, I hear that's hysterical," Tegan exclaims as they point to the screen. I give Tegan an amused 'really?' face and selected the program. "It's at the beginning of the episode too!"

Tegan and I sit comfortably with each other, both of us laughing at the show rather frequently. Tegan hoped up, turning to me saying "Hey Sare, wanna have some fun?"

I stood up to follow Tegan to the bedroom but they put a hand on my chest and pushed me back on the couch. "What," I asked, confused from the sequence of events.

"Wait here." Tegan left the room with a sly and secretive smile on their lips. The television took my attention from my questions as I waited for Tegan. Moments later Tegan walked back out of the bedroom. The smile playing on their lips mixed with their hands behind the back, I grew suspicious of what was to come. "So, it's been some time since we smoked last,"

My confusion grew as I recalled our habit of having a cigarillo when we drink. A black plastic container showed itself when Tegan brought their hands around to their front. "What's in there," I asked, my question being quickly answered as Tegan opened the container, the smell of weed punching my face and I inhale deeply. "Damn. I missed that smell."

Tegan POV:

I sat between Sara's legs on the edge of the couch, her legs wrapped around my stomach immediately. I opened the air tight container to pull out my paraphernalia. A pipe, some cigarillo packs, a few lighters, a grinder and of course a decent amount of weed in a baggie. "Woah, what is that like a quarter?"

"Hah, maybe. I might've gotten a little excited when I thought of this. You can actually thank yourself for this, you're the one who gave me the idea." I kept my eyes on the objects on the table, holding the baggie up to my nose to smell the fresh buds. "So, Sara Quin, what's it going to be?"

"Hm. Can we do a little of both," I grinned widely at her willingness to smoke with my.

"Oh! I forgot something. A very exciting something actually," I freed herself from Sara's legs and ran back into the bedroom. A minute later, I returned. Two things were held in my hands behind my back. I revealed the left hand first, Sara's inhaler.

"Ah yes, a very exciting something," Sara teased me, "Seriously thank you, this was a good catch."

"Guess what else I have," tempting Sara.

"I have no idea, honestly."

Then I revealed my right hand, holding a large bong in front of Sara's wide eyes. "Look what someone kept all these years."

"Shut the fuck up. You kept Tara? Jesus, it's like 10 years old."

I smiled and kissed her cheek, resuming our seats back on the couch. "Fuck yeah I kept Tara, can't just get rid of piece we named after ourselves! Though for the record, I still think Segan would've been cooler." The weed made its way into and out of the grinder. I packed the pipe and the bowl for the bong, then quickly rolled the blunt. Surprisingly, I was able to roll it pretty well, I guess blunt rolling is like riding a bike, once you know you never forget.

Sara came back into the family room, two cups in her hands, "I got us something to drink, and I put out a few snacks on the island in case we get the munchies."

"You always were the best smoking _bud_ -dy." Sara laughed at my favorite pun from over the years.

"Alright, we've got everything we need. Let's lay back and light up," Sara laughing at her reference to her own song. "Let's do the blunt first to get us going then we can take our time with the bowl and bong." I nodded and agreed with the plan of action.

The Game grape cigarillo rested between my lips, holding the lighter up to the end. I put the lighter back on the table as I continued to inhale slowly, my lungs filling with the thick smoke as I pulled my mouth away. I inhaled deeper, ensuring the smoke has its chance to do its job. Sara took the blunt as I held my hand out, she smirked as I coughed a few times during my exhale. Sara mimicked my actions, not inhaling fully to ease her lungs into the process. Sara exhaled slowly, not coughing once. "Damn, you took a fair bit and didn't cough once. Sasa's still got it!"

"Fucking bet your ass I do. Don't doubt my skills," she said then began to laugh, "But also don't challenge me because I will die." Our laughter bounced off the walls in the house. For my next hit I kept it lighter, not wanting to get higher than Sara, I want us to keep about the same. The blunt went pretty quick, we finished it in a little under 5 minutes. By the time I was ashing out the roach, Sara and I were obviously at a decent high. Sara moved closer to me and put her arm around me, I was slightly slouched into the couch so her slightly shorter form was easily able to rest her arm around my shoulders. Sara sat up and took the bong into her hands, "Oh how I'm glad to see you back in my hands baby," Sara spoke to Tara.

Laughter came roaring out of my mouth. "Jesus, Sara. That high, huh?"

Sara's famously adorable giggle came out as she shrugged and put the bong up to her mouth. Flame licked the edge of the bowl gently as Sara began inhaling. Smoke filled the shaft of the bong as she continued to inhale. Her hand pulled the bowl out, taking a sharp inhale to clear the hit. Sara handed me the lighter as I picked up the pipe, I lit the bowl in the same fashion and took a decent sized hit.

"Fuck Teeg. Bongs are amazing!" Sara took a deep breath of air then exhaled, my eyebrow cocked as I eyed her actions. "Breathing feels so cool right now. I'm high."

I smiled at Sara's statement, when either of us said we were high, oh you bet we are. "Ha. Wait till you get the bowl, that thing hits so good. And same, also high." We resumed our previous position on the couch. Another episode of Rick and Morty had just began, we sat and watched happily. A few minutes passed then I sat up and handed Sara the pipe. She took her hit, then I hit the bong. The bubbles were sounding at a rapid rate as I inhaled to collect the smoke, I had my breath held for only a couple of seconds when I coughed out in laughter. Rick had turned himself into a teenager and yelled "TINY RICK!", seriously the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Sara POV:

They're going on about 3 full minutes of laughter and I couldn't help but join in soon after it began. Tegan's laugh when their high is so fucking cute. Tegan calms down enough to take the remaining hit off the pipe, as soon as the smoke fills their lungs, Tee stands up and runs around the coffee table yelling "TINY RICK!" with hands held straight above her head.

I spend another minute laughing hysterically at Tegan's antics. They then reach out for the remote and turn off the TV, "Let's get into some trippy conversation. Don't think I forgot about all of our high talks as teens. That shit used to be my favorite."

Laughing at Tegan, I smiled and turned toward them on the couch, my legs crossed on the cushion. "Those conversations were probably the _high_ light of my teenage years," Tegan smiled widely and winked at me. "Honestly, I think it was in the middle of one when I realized I was in love with you. So we can thank weed for our relationship." Their face turned into one of pure content and love, I smiled and leaned forward on my shins and pulled my sibling in by their neck. I smiled down at Tegan, playing with the hair curled at the hairline, they gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen. Their eyes glowing with love and happiness. My head leans down and our lips meet each other softly. Hands roam up under my shirt, resting on my ribs before they make their way up to my breast. A moan builds in my throat from the gentle nature of this interaction. "Not so fast there Tee. Don't think we're having sex instead of getting into some deep conversation," Tegan laughs deeply and their eyes roll in fake annoyance. "I'm on a great high right now, so lets get this shit started."


	3. Month Three: Part Two

Chapter 3

The air is potent with the fresh smell of spring. I inhale deeply, my mind on a high from the change in seasons and having my best friend by my side. Today is reserved for nothing specific, Tegan and I marked the day for an aimless adventure around the city.

Vancouver is particularly beautiful in the beginning of spring, there's a glow enveloping the city, trees breathe again and people are effortlessly happier. Winter has left for a few months, the relief filling every living thing with a forgotten energy. No matter how much you love winter, and I for one, absolutely adore the bitter season, you cannot deny the feeling of freshness that comes when the cold goes.

Tegan's neck stretches back, eyes browsing the beauty of the buildings reaching for the cloudless sky. Though our surroundings are undeniably beautiful, I cannot help myself from locking my eyes onto my sister beside me. Though only a month into taking testosterone, I can see the slight differences already. Neck muscles have become slightly more prominent, making my mouth desire the feel right now. Their chin has widened ever so little, though I never thought Tegan's jawline could become any more attractive. The ridge of their brow and eyes are slowly transforming into a more masculine structure. Tegan tears their gaze from the buildings, acknowledging my staring. I smile widely at their flushed face, "You are so fucking handsome, Tee."

A brighter red paints their still semi- fleshy cheeks, "I really like when you call me handsome, it makes me feel a thousand times happier than when you said I was beautiful."

"I can tell. It also feels more right calling you handsome over beautiful, it has always suited you more."

We smile together, turning our attention back to the sidewalk ahead of us. My stomach starts to lightly grumble, indicating my need for food. The stores on the street are mostly miscellaneous shops. I search around the block for a burger joint, Tegan's most recent favorite craving, though I can only spot a sandwich spot. "You're going to have to settle for a sandwich, if we wait to stumble across a burger place I will undoubtedly get hangry."

Tegan smiles and nods. After crossing the street along the crosswalk, I open the door, allowing Tegan to enter first. My eyes catch two stores that had been blocked when I was on the other side of the street, For the Record, a cleverly named record store, and a Tattoo shop, Pink Ink. "You go pick out a table, I'll go order for us."

A table by the window catches my eye, normally I'd secure us a secluded seat so we could hold hands or sneak kisses, but I want to have the record and tattoo places in view for when I propose my plan to Tegan. I type the tattoo place into the opened tab on my phone, attempting to find out a reason behind their name. I skim over the reviews first, mostly all five stars with raves over their work and artists. I go to their page and discover they are an all-female operated store, every single artist they've had has been a woman. Fuck yeah, Tegan and I will definitely like this place.

Two plates set down on the table top. "One chicken Caesar salad sandwich for ma'lady, and one roast beef for this growing boy," we both chuckle at Tegan's literal joke. I love when they order for me, always ordering things I've never had but always thoroughly enjoy, and this was no different.

A few bites into our meal, I catch Tegan smiling widely at me, gums on prominent display. "What are you looking so goofy about?"

Their head bounces down in a low chuckle, "I'm just so happy to be with my babe." I blush at their statement, Tee never fails to flatter me.

We finish up our meals, taking our plates over to the receptacle and head out of the café. Tegan takes my hand in theirs, walking us over to the crosswalk and into For the Record. We both light up when we look around the shop, they must have every record ever released in here. I notice the signs indicating the genres then walk us around until we find the two sections next to each other with the artists Tegan has on their list. We spend about a half hour inside, I'd usually be slightly annoyed by the amount of time we spend wandering but it gives me more time to put thought into the tattoo. Tegan fishes cash out of their wallet, paying off the large total, then turns to me with a purely content smile. "You ready for your tattoo?" I nod in excitement as I bite my lip, containing my giddy smile.

The Pink Ink shop is badass inside, the back wall is a bright pink, with the other three black. Pictures hang from tacks, surrounded by the same pink as the accent wall, showing off drawings done by their artists. The furniture is modern, matte black with pink features, a fine balance between sharp edges and sweeping curves. The woman at the front desk finishes her phone call, seemingly from a client asking about a consult, then she stands and asks what we came in for today. My mouth forms into an eager smile as I briefly tell her about our idea for doing secret tattoos. Her smile mimics my own, telling us we came in at a perfect time, some reason about a client having to reschedule so now there are three open artists.

Tegan is lead into a back room to discuss with the three artists what their idea for my tattoo is. All three insisted on doing a brief consult with us individually to decide who is best to do whose tattoo. Seventeen minutes pass by before Tegan comes back out, face clad with the most adorable smile and bright eyes. I'm motioned into the room by Tegan's hand, sitting across from the three women, all with a sketchbook and markers sitting under their hands. I begin by detailing the slightly large tattoo I have planned in my head.

Tegan POV:

Sara's consult takes a little longer than mine, but when the four women exit the back room, all of them look ecstatic, and that is an understatement. The women take us over to the two chairs sitting against the left wall of the room, without a doubt because these two seats are close enough for us to hold hands, assuming they aren't done on the same arm. The three women adjust the seats so they're closer together and now, facing opposite directions. Angela, one of the artists, signals me over to the chair on the left, informing me that my tattoo will be on the outside of my left upper arm. Casey, the artist doing Sara's tattoo, pats the other chair and tells Sara that hers will be in the same spot as my own. We sit anxiously waiting in silence, both of us rattling our brain to composite some idea or direction that the other has expelled into the design. A black sheet is draped from a pole, starting around my nose so I can see Angela but not my tattoo. The same is done with Sara's arm and we make eye contact, giggling at our unnecessary nervousness.

Angela and Casey snap their gloves in place, rising up past their wrist, "You two ready for some badass tattoos," they ask in unison. We reply together, again in harmony, earning a giggle from us both. They bump fists before sitting in their respective rolling stools, picking up their tattoo guns and going to work after laying down the template.

Sara makes eye contact with me once the gun hits her skin, pricking her skin at an intense speed. Her eyes squint after darkening, with her teeth reaching over her lip and pushing it against her teeth. Oh yeah, how could I forget Sara gets turned on from the feeling she gets from the tattoo gun. I smile back at her with a wink, licking my own lips before biting them. We've never got tattoos together but seeing Sara getting turned on by the feeling is making me have the same reaction. Sara tries to squash the feeling by making conversation between us, it takes my mind off it for maybe 5 minutes at a time. A few times I can't keep myself from making an inside joke to remind Sara that this will have to be resolved after we're done here. After I make a comment referencing a red belt and Sara's face flushes hard and she stretches her hand over the foot or so where I'm sitting, careful not to move her arm from the work being done behind the curtain. She squeezes my hand, then places it on my abdomen, her breaths deepening, then she takes a slow glance around the shop. Her head is still facing away when her hand quickly reaches up to my breast and takes it in her hand, giving it a hard and tight squeeze. My entire body wants to jerk at her sudden movement but I manage to clench, ensuring my arm won't move. Before her hand leaves my chest, her head turns back to meet my eyes, her face is playing a wicked grin as her thumb and pointer finger somehow find exactly where my nipple is, pinching it tightly before bringing her hand back by her side. What a little bitch, acting all innocent after that. Oh you'll pay Sasa, you just wait.

About three and a half hours in, Casey announces to the three of us that she is now onto finishing touches, producing the excitement in Sara to cause a squeal to come through her lips. Angela looks up to me saying she has maybe ten to fifteen minutes before the finishing touches. Forty five minutes later Sara and I are standing out of our chairs, walking to the full length mirror on the back wall. It takes all of my self-control, and then some, to keep myself from looking at the new ink donning my arm. Casey and Angela look at their wrapped up work, smiling before walking around to check out the others work. Angela turns to us and asks "Alright, whose getting the big reveal first?"

I turn and smile at Sara, "Sara is, it was her idea so she's first."

Sara smiles and walks up closer to the mirror, I stand on her right side, letting us both see it for the first time, she places her fingers under the sleeve of her loose t-shirt and quickly glances at me before lifting the fabric quickly. Her eyes meet the ink in the reflection of the mirror, eyes lighting up instantly. "Wow." I nod in agreement, Casey fucking killed it. It's exactly as I imagined it to be. Sara takes a step closer, examining the detail in the large bear, standing on hind legs, mouth open. "Wow," she says again, softer this time. "Tee," her gaze flicks over to me then back at the bear, "I'm so fucking in love with this."

I smile to myself at the obvious happiness radiating from Sara as she continues to inspect it. Her eyes meet mine again, tears cover the surface of her eyes and I know she really loves it, and without me even having to hint at the meaning, I know she knows. Her favorite book for probably 10 years, a book that just so happens to be about siblings who fall in love, the strongest symbolism for their illicit love, is now forever marked on her body in a secret marking of our own barred relationship.

She steps away, likely because if she stares at it for a moment longer she'll begin to cry. I acknowledge her telepathic thoughts and take my turn, standing in front of the mirror. I take a deep breath and turn to the side, replicating her motion of lifting her sleeve up to her shoulder. My head turns until the fabric is fully up off my arm, then I turn back and gasp at the beauty of my latest tattoo. Of course Sara and I had the same idea of marking our love on each other, I would've been surprised if we didn't. The large outlined box contains three simple parts, together illustrating our endless love for one another.

I break my stare from Sara to look back at the amazing work done. A roaring tiger sits at the bottom corner, crying out much like the bear, screaming our declarations of love that we, ourselves, could never shout aloud. Next to that is a quote, "Justify My Love" a line from a Madonna song that, ever since I heard it, has spoken the truth about my love for my twin. No Sasa, I don't want to be your mother, nor sister, I just want to be your lover. And the final image is my favorite, the silhouette of my favorite picture ever taken of us by someone else. I have to specify "by someone else" because some of the picture's we've taken together are carved into the back of my eyes for me to remember forever. It's us on a hill, me running away from Sara, holding a large, 50's style megaphone. Her hand is gripped around the loop on the back of my vest, pulling me back to her. It is easily one of my most fond public moments.

I take in a deep shaky breath, pulling in all the air I can hold to keep my sobs at bay. Looking back at Sara, I know she has figured out how incredible I find this tattoo. "It's amazing Sare," I say as I pull her into a deep hug. We walk up to the counter, Sara refusing to allow me to pay, telling me it was her treat.

We walk out of the store, walking quickly the ten blocks back to our place. It's now almost seven and though I'd like to stay out and enjoy the night in the city with my girl, my need to go home and demolish my girlfriend is much stronger than my desire for a night out. On our way back, all either of us can do is gush about how much we love our permanent evidence of the love we share. Sara goes on about how she has always held bears close to her since she read The Hotel New Hampshire, and confessed that being the reason for my pet name bear, as if I didn't already know that. The thought Sara put into my tattoo is all I can focus on, she really managed to capture our relationship so well with three cohesive images. I'm continually blown away by her mind.

The door to our penthouse swings open, Sara walks right past me as if she didn't sexually harass me in the middle of a damn store. She acts as if the both of us aren't still painfully turned on and even further in love from the whole experience. My eyebrow cocks, almost amused with her innocent act. I hear the fridge door open and some glass clink together, then close. I stand in my spot, not having moved an inch since kicking my shoes off. Sara saunters back from the kitchen, slowly over to the living room. My face is still painted with an amused disbelief at the act she has going. Just as she places down a large bottle of red wine, her face turns and she has an entertained, almost smug grin playing at her mouth. I move quick, not allowing her brain, nor body, time to process my moves before she can stop them. I take a few long and fast sprints over to where she stands, tackling her into the couch. The laughter bellows off the walls, my soul swelling over the sweet sound that has quickly filled the room. Oh c'mon, how can you not love this woman?

My hands meet her sides, her laughter continuing to explode from her mouth. Just as she thinks she's almost got a handle of my hands, stopping the tickling, I let my hands go slack, tricking her into thinking I've given up. My revenge is glorious, and just so conveniently will fuel Sara into a heated competition. I do just as she did to me, getting a handful of her breast and clutching hard, a deep, guttural moan comes from the pit of her stomach and I smirk, game on. Before completely withdrawing, my fingers grasp her nipple and pinch hard with a slight twist. Our eyes meet and Sara thinks we're onto other things, not that easy my love. I lean down, only two or so inches from her lips, her head dashes forward in an attempt to meet me where I paused. Just before our lips can meet, I'm up on my feet and sprinting towards the bedroom leaving an echo of my maniacal laughter in my wake.

I hear Sara growl, then her light treading as she comes to search for me. I'm sitting in the middle of our bed, facing the closed door, my head resting on the tops of my leveled hands. Two can play at the innocent game. The door creaks as it's opened and Sara spots me once her head is in view. A low, slow laugh comes from her body and I'm starting to think I'm in trouble. I may be the more competitive one but Sara is never one to turn down, or even lose a challenge. Making her way slowly toward the bed, Sara's voice is deep and hemorrhaging lust "Oh Tee. Baby, haven't you learned by now that you always loose when you challenge me?"

"Well I'm not sure if I'd count it as a loss. As long as I end up screaming your name I think of it as a win," I counter with just as much arrogance in my tone.

Sara chuckles deep again. "I'll have to agree on that. Let's make things interesting, shall we?"

Oh damn I love where this is heading. I nod slowly, Sara's weight being added on either side of my legs, straddling me without much contact. "What would you like to play? Monopoly? Maybe some Yahtzee?"

Sara smiles but shakes her head. Putting my hands on her hips then bringing on hand up to my chin and aligning our gaze. "I'm thinking of something a little more fun than that, yeah?" I nod again before Sara leans in and kisses me feverishly, causing a low moan to travel from my mouth to hers. "Ya know the too hot game?" She stays back long enough for me to signal a "no" then kisses me again. When she talks again our lips are barely apart. "Well, I straddle you like this, only," her legs spread further from mine as to not touch, "no contact. And these," she take my hands again and puts them behind me so I'm leaning back slightly, "can't touch me. No touching of any body parts but our faces. First person to touch the other loses.

I'm practically at orgasm from the thought of this game. Yeah, this is some shit Sara and I get very into. "And what does the winner get?"

Her head turns up, looking at the ceiling, her finger slowly drawing down her neck. Shit, she knows I can't resist her neck, she's already getting out the strategies. "The winner gets to completely control what happens after. And I mean complete, " she pauses for the words to resonate with me, "control."

"I'm in."

"Good girl." She kisses me on my forehead, then gives both my breasts a big squeeze. Not a quarter of a second after she lets go of me, she signals the start of the game.

I lean forward, our lips meeting hesitantly. Both of us know it's like testing the water before jumping into a pool, go in with getting used to the temperature and you'll be out quicker than you jumped in. We start slow, her lips pressed against mine. Our lips alternate so we each have one of the other's lip between our own. The kisses are slow and soft, so much passion flowing between us. Sara's tongue flashes against mine, I'm almost unsure if it even happened. I open my mouth more and she does the same. Our tongues meet halfway, softly flicking against each other first, slowly building up till slightly longer licks. My hands start instinctively moving tough I catch myself before it's too late.

My hands continue moving, pretending as if they were touching Sara, moving the same way they would against her body. Our mouths are now mashing together, heads rotating around like when kids make their dolls kiss. My tongue is full on wrestling hers now, refusing to break contact. Sara moans and I slow down, knowing full well how Sara can't be turned down once she's turned up. My tongue retracts from hers, then our lips disconnect fully. Sara looks at me with determined eyes, "Sare, what are the rules on neck kissing?"

"Hmmm," she draws out, thinking over how this could play for her. "I'll allow it, but no more talking" a smug grin comes with her new rules.

I nod and we go back to kissing, skipping the no tongue, let's face it, that's no fun when tongue is an option. I'm pulling out all my flexibility for this and Sara better appreciate it, my tongue doing circles around hers, both literally and figuratively. I pull back biting her lower lip the in the process, dragging it out and letting it whip back when I release it.

Her neck tilts back and I know I have the advantage right now, she's not even trying to fight me for going after my neck. I lick up her neck, parallel with her jaw. Ending the trail with a strong suck and scratching with my teeth as I withdraw my tongue. Sara's weakness is using lips, tongue and teeth all in one long and drawn out kiss. I drop kisses down in a straight line, biting the curve connecting her neck and shoulder. Another moan escapes her. My tongue glides up to her ear and I give her earlobe a flick with my tongue, then pull it with my teeth. The way Sara is moving above me I know she is going to cave soon.

Sara pulls away, her body out of my mouths reach, my hands instantly twitch from their denied desire to touch her and pull her back into me. I can tell Sara moved away to calm herself down to keep her cool, her eyes are shut, breaths ragged and brushing against my skin. The sight of Sara being so tempted but trying to will away her instincts and habits is pushing me past Sara's point. A minute later, when my breath is just as deep and labored as Sara's own, her eyes open just as an evil grin appears on her face. Oh shit. I must say I'm impressed, Sara pushed herself to her threshold just so she could make me watch her and make me go insane.

Not giving me time to devise my own plan, Sara's lips are on my neck. For a good thirty seconds, her tongue is the only thing to be in contact with my skin. Fuck, she's driving me wild. Her tongue follows each and every curve and crevice from my shoulders to my ears. At this point I can't help myself, I'm not sure how I still have my hands off Sara, I start to rock my hips back and forth, getting seconds of pressure against my clit. Sara leans back and pulls her shirt over her head, tempting me even further. I mean I know we could be competitive but shit, I never thought we would be able to last even a tenth as long as we are. Sara leans back down, connecting our lips once again. I push my mouth against her to get her to sit up a bit more, giving me the chance to take off my shirt as well. While our mouths are disconnected, I take the opportunity to bring my hand around and rid myself of my bra. When I look back up to Sara, her bra is off with her left hand rolling one of her hard nipples between her fingers. Eyes focused on mine, lips wet and pinched back with her teeth, looking ready to be fucked.

Carefully, I slide out from under her, laying down on the bed, Sara following my lead and again, hovering over me. My eyes alternate between her eyes and hand, watching her feel herself up. I don't think either of us will last long. Lips encounter yet again, both of us breathing heavily through our noses and moaning without control. Unable to contain myself without more contact, I, too, begin pinching and twisting my nipples between my fingers. Sara breaks the kiss to bite and suck my sweet spots on my neck. Being unable to touch Sara is providing a turn on that replaces her touch, my craving for her touch is driving me insane. One hand is kept busy with my breasts, the other I move down to put pressure on my clit. I cup myself for seconds, pressing against my hand harshly, until I can't help it any more. I'm still shocked that neither of us have folded. If this goes on much longer, I'll do it out of shear need to be taken by Sara. My fingers come into contact with my clit making me moan and turn my head, giving Sara new flesh to darken with pressure. My breath is so rushed, I'm sure I'll get lightheaded any second from hyperventilating. Moans are pouring out of my mouth at a constant rate. Sara hits a particularly good place, biting hard and sucking even harder, the entire kiss practically bringing me to my brink. Sara's mouth removes itself from my neck, her gaze meeting my needy eyes before looking down between our bodies, spotting my hand circling in my boxers at an insane pace. Her eyes meet mine, and at the same second, our mouths meet and we both give in, my hand pulling her lower back into me and her hips thrusting against me, forcing a deep pressure on my clit. We both moan loudly, then take a second to catch our breath. "So if we both gave in at the same time?"

Sara chuckles, pulling my hand out from my boxers, rolling her hips oh so slowly against mine while sucking my fingers in her mouth. "I guess we both win. So how about we both get one hour of complete control," I nod incessantly at her idea. "But," her hips stop their movements, then press even harder directly into my clit, "We should finish this round first."

After the deep moan, almost scream, draws all the air out of my lungs, I take a deep breath, "Deal. And whoever comes first goes second." Sara smiles wickedly, then rolls her hips again while simultaneously pinching my nipple hard.

"So you're going second?"


	4. New Levels

Chapter 4

Somehow Tegan managed to remain asleep through my incredibly clumsy half hour of getting home and putting away the groceries. Tegan always feels bad when I don't wake them up to help me with things like this but I don't mind, especially since Tegan has been doing a lot of handiwork around the house. It's ironic how much Tegan and I, along with the immense majority of the queer community, detest gender roles, yet Tegan just so happens to have found themselves thrown into an array of "men's" tasks. The other day they came home with a tool belt as a joke at the whole thing, I think I laughed for about five minutes before I stopped to realize that I was very into Tegan wearing tool belt. Neither of us got much done that afternoon.

Tegan is still sleeping calmly on the couch, I sit on the little open area by their legs and admire how stunning Tegan is. Just before the four month mark Tegan began changing a little faster than they were before. Their size has changed too, since I see them every day I didn't notice it so much until we looked back on the progress photos but now I can't do anything but realize they have grown a lot. Now they stand probably two inches taller than me with broader shoulders and less curves, thicker legs and arms. It's really interesting how different they looks all the while looking like the same Tegan I've had by my side for all of our years. Their gorgeousness is quite literally breathtaking, I cannot begin to imagine how many hours I've spent just looking, admiring my twin. Even from a young age, I've always been infatuated with there being another being on this earth who so closely mirrors my own body and personality. Of course the closer you get to us, both physically and metaphorically, we do stray from one another, yet only to a point. We are still indistinguishable at the DNA level, something that even in my 26 years, I cannot wrap my mind around. It's something that everyone around us finds just as mysterious, and I think is why everyone who knows our true relationship has never questioned our truly infinite and intrinsic love for one another. We have small differences, our noses and jaws are slightly altered, Tegan is more open while I am more introspective; yet at our very core and in the most scientific definition, we are exactly identical to each other. We will always be bound to on another, no matter what happens to us in this world, we have a connection that trillions of people will never be able to comprehend, something that we, ourselves can never fully grasp. Even if we wanted to, both of us know that our relationship transcends anything we could ever even hope to share with anyone else. This relationship is something I could never, even if we never die, show the full value of my gratitude for being gifted this honor of having Tegan as my one true soulmate.

Tegan shifts beneath my touch, slowly emerging from their slumber. When they open their eyes and meet my gaze, I cannot help but smile, Tegan Quin, you are the love of my entire existence. Just after our eyes meet, Tegan's sleepy expression quickly dissolves, replaced not a second later with one of worry. Their hand comes to my face, bring to my attention the excessive amount of tears that have drenched my face, "Sara, what's wrong?"

My smile widens causing Tegan much confusion, I'm not confident I could say anything intelligible this second so instead I lean in and kiss them with more adoration, love and affection than I've ever felt. Tegan is a bit taken back at first but then relaxes and allows my outpour of emotion to flow freely. After a minute I pull away and rest my forehead against theirs. "Tegan Rain, I cannot begin to express the amount of overwhelming love and gratitude I have for you right this second." I kiss her again, "I really want to remember this moment so I'm going in my office to right all of this down. I'll probably be a bit, but hey, we might get a song or two out of it," we both laugh, tears still streaming down my face. "But don't worry my love, all happy tears, the happiest tears I think anyone could ever experience."

Tegan smiles so widely I think my heart will implode on sight. "Alright Sare, text me if you need anything. I'm gonna run out to the gym but I'll have my phone on me." Arms wrap around my torso in a strong and loving grip before Tegan lets me go with a kiss and lets me leave to go to my office. I'm feeling on top of the world right now. Once situated at my desk, I grab a notebook from my drawer, opening to the first clean page, picking up a pen to translate the obscenely overwhelming love I have for my twin.

Three and a half pages later I find my heart lighten, still overflowing with my love but content now that it's all been written out. The door to the apartment opens and closes, Tegan must be home now. I close my notebook and wade out to the living room. Tegan kicks off their shoes and drops the couple of bags at the door then looks up and smiles at me. Again, I find myself love-struck, not able to will my body to move closer to the love of my life, only able to stand still and smile like an idiot. Tegan laughs airily and walks over to where my feet are stuck to the ground. Their arms wrap around me again, bringing me out of my daze. I tuck my head against Tegan's neck, inhaling until my lungs feel as if they'll tear open. We stand for a few minutes, simply reveling in the feeling of being in each other's hold. "How was your writing session?"

A smile returns to my face as I lightly give Tegan's neck a small kiss. "Very good. I don't know what has hit me, I feel like I'm on cloud nine from loving you. I think I found the step above being in love."

Tegan kisses my head, "Will I get to read it at some point?" I nod against their neck, about to reply when Tegan talks again. "I was thinking we should go out to dinner tonight. I got us both something to wear and made reservations. But I had an idea to run by you," they say with an enquiring tone, then they take my hand and leads me over to the couch, though I cut in front and sit down at the end, guiding Tee to lean on me so I can run my hands through their shorter brown hair.

"Dinner sounds lovely, afterwards we can come back and take a nice bath then I can read you my little love letter," I laugh as I realize that is essentially what it is, only so much more profound than that. "What is this idea?"

"Well, I was thinking it'd kinda be a good day to tell the fans, yeah? About my transition," they clarify, I cannot help but chuckle, yeah Tee, I totally thought you meant we should tell them we've been together for seven years. "We could set up a little live video and you could kinda give a soft intro then I could enter the frame and whatnot. Nothing long or anything. I just think it'd be good timing since we'll be starting interviews and whatnot in a few months."

I smile wide, I'm so happy Tegan is confident enough to want to do this. My hand pulls their hair back flat and I place a kiss atop their head, "As long as you are sure you're ready. I think it's a great idea, though maybe a live video is a bit much since trolls would probably be commenting transphobic shit."

Tegan must sense that the idea of that happening makes me very angry, within a half second, they are sitting up next to me, hugging me and kissing my cheek. "I'm ready and excited. Good call on the live video though. Seeing any non- positive comment would probably make you shoot off into an angry tangent," I receive another kiss on my head, "and we don't want that babe."

One hour later:

"Hey everyone! It's Sara from Tegan and Sara! Some of you may have noticed that neither of us have been posting any pictures, sorry for all you fans who have been going crazy over that, but there is a reason. Don't worry, neither of us have gotten a bad haircut, no So Jealous cuts or anything. About five months ago, Tegan decided to make a change that would make them happier, and- well Tegan just come over already," I smile and wave over my twin.

Tegan takes a spot next to me within shot. "Hello everyone. As you might be able to see, I look a little different now days. I started testosterone injections five months ago and well, yeah, I'm transitioning. It's something I've kinda wanted to do for a while and it's been a great experience. Sara's been by my side through everything and everyone has been incredibly supportive. So just a little update for you all, we'll be posting more again. Thank you all in advance for your support. And we'll be seeing you all soon for our promotion of our new album soon. Stay tuned!"

We cut off the short video and I take Tegan's face in my hands and kiss them deeply. "I'm so proud of you baby. You are incredibly strong and amazing. I love you so much Tegan."

"I couldn't do it without you Sare. Cliché, I know, but it's too true. Without you I wouldn't have even had the courage to admit it was something I wanted to do but you inspire me to be true to myself every day. I love you too damn much Sara Quin." Tegan smiles their gummy smile and kisses me again. "Now sit out here, watch your favorite lesbian news anchor, Rachel Maddow and I'm gonna set up your outfit in the bedroom. Be back my love."

Rachel Maddow really is my favorite, she's hysterical and I'm not sure if I've ever disagreed with her on an issue. My heart drops into my stomach, no, further than that, it's definitely through all the floors of in the building and three-hundred feet into the ground. My head goes foggy and my hearing fades into constant sounds of a deafening humming. Rachel's sentences flood through my mind over and over. "Early yesterday morning a trans woman was attacked… He was stabbed several times… succumbed to his injuries shortly after at a nearby hospital." I manage to turn off the tv despite my mind drowning in worry and fear. Sure, I've seen these news stories many times, each time it breaks my heart to see the hatred toward the LGBTQIA community; but I think this is the first one I've heard about in detail since Tee's transition. This didn't just break my heart, no, it took my heart and threw it into the core of the earth. I need to protect Tee. I _need_ to ensure that Tegan never has to encounter the teeniest hate crime. Every trans person deserves a full army squadron protecting them every moment of their life. It isn't until I feel the cool puff of albuterol enter my mouth that I realize my breath is just shy of non-existent. I hear Tee's muffled voice attempting to talk to me. I push the thoughts of what I just heard out of my mind to focus solely on breathing. In. One, two, three. Out.

The muffled sounds slowly become clearer as my vision fades away from its blurred blackness. "Shh baby. In, hold, hold, out." I listen to their voice and slowly but surely calm my breathing back to its regular rate. As soon as I have enough oxygen back in my brain to process again, I practically tackle Tegan to the ground.

"Tee I'm never going to let anything happen to you. This is a terrible world and I will quit the band to become your body guard if I have to. That's not okay and it won't happen as long as I'm alive. I promise. I promise you Tee." I'm not sure if Tegan can even hear me, not only am I rambling but on top of that I'm crying directly into their chest.

Tegan scooped me up without trouble and walked us over to sit on the couch, myself still curled up against their chest. "I'm sorry Sare, I didn't even think about that story being on Rachel's show. I was hoping you didn't see it."

I raised my head to look at Tee, "What? You heard about it? Why didn't you want me to see it?"

Tee smiled and kissed my forehead lightly while they lifted me so I was now sitting on their lap. "Because I know we haven't talked about this aspect of my transition. I know it's scary that there are people out there that are hateful toward gay and trans people but I'll be okay. I bought pepper spray while I was out and we have security at events and if we need them around more then it's not a problem. It's okay babe." I'm so happy that they bought pepper spray, and they're right about security.

"You're right. You'll be okay. Especially with these muscles, can we talk about how you picked me up with you when you were sitting on the floor? Like holy shit Tegan, that's some insane strength."

Tegan smiled, undoubtedly happy that they were able to pick up my mood almost as easily as they picked me up. "If you haven't noticed how strong I am before just now then we're not having sex enough." We both laughed at their joke, oh yeah, we _totally_ don't have sex enough. Yeah, right. "I am pretty jacked though."

You know those cartoons where someone's eyes pop 10 feet from their head with heart shaped pupils? Yeah, I'm almost certain that my eyes are about 10 levels above that right now. I know it's impossible but I think Tegan's muscles grew tenfold when they were at the gym today. Their arm is so muscular and sexy, I'm definitely gawking as I'm essentially feeling up Tegan's bicep. My heart melts at the sound of Tegan's light giggle, "if you're interested in my arms then you might like my stomach too but you'll have to come get dressed to see them."

Without even bothering with a response I stand from Tegan's lap and walk us both to the bedroom. Sitting on the crisp white comforter sat two beautiful outfits side by side. One was a strapless black dress with a deep neckline with some famous red- bottomed Louis Vuitton pumps. The other outfit was a cobalt blue suit, white button down with pink silk tie. As I examined it further, I noted the matching pink suspenders and pocket square with brown leather oxfords. Both are absolutely stunning, I'm excited for Tegan to look so dapper and to be the lucky girl on their arm. "You're goning to look so handsome Tee." I began undressing, ready to put on the dress, standing in front of my twin with only my thin lace bra and panties on.

Tegan giggled and wrapped their arms around my waist as they walked up to me. "Oh no babe, these are your outfits to pick from, mine is already chosen," their head motions back over to the bathroom. "I wasn't sure how you wanted to dress so I got two outfits. We are going to a fancy restaurant so we have to be looking good."

Blood rushed to my face as I bashfully tucked my head down. Sometimes they are so sweet it just catches me off guard. I'm so intrigued to see Tegan's outfit for the night, I'm sure they'll look fucking fine-looking as all hell. When I turned around in Tegan's arms I dove right in for an intimate kiss, this kid really knows how to take my breath away. "Okay, so can I see your outfit, _please_?"

I could tell Tegan was tempted, with my hands grabbing lightly at the hem of their shirt, they usually cannot resist when I want to remove clothes, mine or theirs. I went in for a short peck and lifted the shirt off. If the bed weren't reserved for clothes, I'd push Tegan down right now and fuck them until the sun sets then comes back up. Because fuck, the abs on Tee have got me a flustered and horny mess. My hand met Tegan's back, pulling them into me and I go for another kiss, straight to the making out. My hand lowered past their binder and onto the smooth skin over their abs, a feeling I'll never be able to resist. "Fuck Tee, those gym trips are _paying off."_

Tegan leaned back a little and guided my hand as they flexed their muscles. "I kinda had a feeling you'd like this," they spoke in a husky voice I've come to know as Tegan's sex voice. "But you can get more of me later, we should get dressed for dinner."

This made me pout heavily, "baby, don't tease me. You look so hot."

"Oh Sare, don't think I won't make up for this. Trust me, you'll be happy we're waiting till after dinner." And cue Tee's famous wink, that's how I know I should just go along with it.

I turned back around and looked at the options for my outfit. "So I'm correct in assuming that you won't let me see your outfit, yeah?"

Tegan chuckled and rested their chin on my shoulder. "Aw, my sister is smart everyone!"

I shook my head and laughed loudly, yeah, I was waiting for that. "Okay, jackass, which one would you like me to wear?"

I felt their breath on my ear before they spoke, "Your choice my love," their tongue licked up the edge of my ear, "either way I'm going to want to fuck you hard later." A surge rushed through my body as they licked back down my ear and tugged on my earlobe.

"Ahhh, you know that gets me going babe. I'll wear the suit, the dress doesn't seem too… accessible."

Tegan responded through breaks in the kisses on my neck, "Mmm, good choice." The sweet spot on the peak of my neck and shoulder got hit pretty intensely, causing moans to escape through my mouth as Tegan's hand lowered on my body. "You're going to look so sexy. I love when you wear suits. You look like you mean business." A hand slipped into my underwear, brushing through my hair before dipping into my folds. "And I like when Sasa means business."

"Oh fuck." A finger slowly circled around my clit, and when I say slowly I mean a literal turtle's pace. Tegan's other hand reached up for my breast, hardly concealed through the see through bra. Two fingers rolled my nipple around before pinching hard and twisting even hard. "Baby," I spoke breathlessly, "fuck, you feel amazing." I know prior to even being kissed, I was already pretty wet, I can only imagine the wetness Tegan has on their fingers now. Tegan's circles sped up slightly with more pressure, resulting in my breathing and moaning to tenfold.

"Sasa you are so wet. Who made you so wet." Oh shit I love when Tegan starts dirty talk.

"You did Tee, you made your twin all worked up and wet."

"I did!?" Tegan exasperated as their fingers came to a hault.

My hand dropped to attempt to get them to continue. "Yes baby, please don't stop. You make me so horny."

Tegan gave a quick kiss to my cheek and withdrew their hand from my underwear. "My bad! Welp, gotta get ready now!" They ran off to the bathroom and I scolded them.

"Tegan I swear to god, you leave no job unfinished!"

I heard Tegan laughing. "'Member, I'll be making it up to you all night!"

I sighed and walked over to the wardrobe, grabbing a face wipe to calm the heat on my face. Now changed out of my lace underwear, I put on some navy boxer briefs, which I know Tegan goes wild for, and a matching navy bra, still sexy but slightly more conservative than what I just had on. Over at the bed I pick up the button down to the suit, putting it over a white tee, then carefully buttoning so I don't misbutton the shirt. Next I grab the suit pants, tucking the shirts in as to not get wrinkled. Once satisfied with the clothing so far, I grabbed the pink suspenders, ensuring they are placed perfectly and evenly adjusted. The pink tie is next to follow, I tie it into a simple Windsor knot and gently fold my collar back down. Now for some simple makeup, a little bit of eyeliner and mascara with very subtle eye shadow. By now Tegan's been in the bathroom for 15 minutes. "Hey, how long ya going to be?"

"Almost done! Putting on socks now." I nod to myself and grab my navy socks with little cactus' on them, getting them on my feet quickly. I'm able to get my oxfords on before Tegan opens the door. "Shit Sara, you look fucking fine."

I chuckle to myself and turn around, almost choking on air when I see Tegan's outfit. They're wearing black suit pants and a pink suit jacket to match my accent color. They have similar brown oxfords and a light grey button down with a black tie. God damn, how is one human so attractive. "Shit, if I met you at a bar. Damn would I bring you home in a split second."

Tegan laughs and does the nervous thing I love so much, her hand behind her head to play with her little tuft of hair. "If you're lucky enough to get me."

Ha, I love when she teases me like that. "Oh silly boy, I know you can't resist me," I take her hand and put it by my collar, slowly dragging it down my body, "I know what you like."

"Mmm, yeah you do," Tegan breathes out, eyes glued to our hands I'm roaming my body with.

Just as I grope myself with her hand in between, I squeeze hard and let my head fall back. "But," I take her hand away and spin on my feet, "I know you like to wait so," I laugh to myself as I get payback for Tegan's joke earlier.

Tegan groans exaggeratedly, cursing under their breath. I pick up my suit jacket and put that on to join the rest of my ensemble. Then I slip my feet into the oxfords and walk over to Tegan. "You look so handsome baby, I love you so much more than I could ever express."

Tegan just beams back at me and kisses my lips gently. We walk out of the bedroom in silence, happy to be so fulfilled with each other.

Up next on Changing: Tegan and Sara have an incident on the way to dinner, then have a romantic and fluff-filled dinner. Then some hot sex!


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